Game Summary: Canes at Panthers

What more is there to say? How can a player get boarded 6 feet away from the puck(and not even in on the play), and get called for diving? Or even worse, how can a player get TACKLED from BEHIND and get called for diving? Beats me, but apparently that's the rules. I hate to bitch about the refs in a game where the Canes lollygagged around and, in doing so, contributed to their own downfall. But seriously, that was the worst officiated period of NHL hockey that I have ever seen. And that, my friends, is saying something.

Now I am not one to go in for just any old conspiracy theory. In fact, other than believing that Elvis is alive, Bigfoot exists, Aliens killed Kennedy, and the Masons are poisoning the wells, I'm pretty much conspiracy intolerant. But this game tonight made me wonder. Surely a couple of sour grapes media articles couldn't sway the refs. That is just crazy talk. But then, it hit me like a ton of bricks! Logical reasoning kicked in...

Q. Who is the Senior Vice President and Director of Hockey Operations for the NHL?

A. That would be Colin Campbell.

Q. And what is his job?

A. To review the officials and direct them how to call the games.

Q. And who is Colin's son?

A. Well, that would be Gregory Campbell.

Q. And what does he do for a living?

A. He is an NHL player.

Q. And who does he play for?

[drumroll please...]

A. The FLORIDA PANTHERS!!!

And there it is folks! The smoking gun. The cold, hard truth in black and white (with little orange stripes on its sleeves) . It's a conspiracy I tell you. Well, it's a shame that Colin wasn't on the Warren Commission. Because if he were, the aliens would've been exonerated and Kennedy would've been called for a dive...

Seriously.