Flyers @ Canes Gameday: They may still suck, but the tailgates don't

God bless Saturdays.

College football (go Pirates!). Sunshine. Cornhole. Brats. Beers. Good friends.

and some (hopefully) some fine hocka-ja-wee-ah.

Go Canes.

We're boned. Seriously...

I took a couple of days to cool off and think things over before I posted about the Hurricanes' recent tragic turn of events. Only I didn't cool off. And after some thought, I am not afraid to say it:

We're totally and deeply boned!!!

Now before any potential JR kool-aid drinkers get their panties in a wad, let me give the disclaimer: I loved Peter Laviolette as a coach. And I hated to see him fired. But I also think that something had to change, and maybe it was the right time for him to move to Tampa [Ironically, Rick Tocchet is giving 3 to 1 odds that this is where Lavi will end up]. And to be perfectly clear, I don't fault Paul Maurice for this. It's nothing personal. I think he is a nice guy and I can't blame him for accepting a coaching job rather than sitting around taking VCR repair courses at Regina Technical Institute and Beauty College. BUT...

WTF? Paul Maurice? Seriously? Why would they do that to us? I mean, damn! It makes no sense! I could understand if they'd threatened this in the week or so before season ticket invoices were due:

"Dear STH, if you do not renew your package by [applicable date], we will fire Peter Laviolette and hire Paul Maurice so you won't be able to enjoy the games on television either..."

But dammit, they already got my money! And, if they just wanted to be sadistic, they've got my address on my season ticket holder file. They know where I live. They could've just sent some random employee to come to my house, ring my doorbell, and then kick me square in the balls when I opened the door. It would've felt the same to me, but they would have at least gotten the satisfaction of seeing the shocked and pained expression on my face when they did it. But this? This is just senseless abuse.

And then, to add insult to injury, they don't even come out and say what they really mean. The least they could do is be honest with us and release a statement that says:

Dear loyal season ticket holder,

Thanks for your hard earned money. Instead of using it to improve the team, Mr. Karmanos has decided to buy that private island in the Bahamas he's always wanted. And a Porsche. We hope you enjoy the return of the boringest hockey ever played. If you're a good boy and don't boo, we'll paint Jeff Gordon and Tony Stewart's numbers on the Zambonis and have the arena staff drive them in a counter-clockwise pattern during the intermission so you'll feel more at home. If you don't like it, go f**k yourself.

Sincerely yours,

The Management.

Nope. We aren't so lucky. To add insult to injury, they (the team, the NHL, the media) are spinning this like crazy; as if we are too stupid to see that this is nothing more than another cheapskate maneuver designed to pocket a greater percentage of our cash. They still believe that we are just a bunch of ignorant, inbred NASCAR fans who won't notice the difference. Don't believe me? Look around. Nearly every article contains this line (or one nearly identical):

"Maurice, 41, is the winningest coach in franchise history with 268 wins in 674 regular-season games."

Obviously, they believe that we are unable to do simple arithmetic. Unfortunately for them, I lernt my cipherin' in skool back in da holler, and I can subtract 268 from 674. And I can even subtract the 99 frigging ties and see that there's 307 losses to go along with those 268 wins. Yes, technically, he is the winningest coach in franchise history. But he's also undeniably the LOSINGEST COACH IN FRANCHISE HISTORY!!!

If "Mo" had more wins than losses, then I wouldn't bitch about the semantics of this. But when the guy has lost more games than he's won, it's pretty damn cheeky to pick the adjective 'winningest' over 'losingest', when both are legitimately on the table.

And they are also trying to whitewash the whole thing by saying that they are going to continue to play an aggressive and exciting style of hockey. Here's the quote:

"We are not going to try to change the identity of the team in terms of how it plays, because it's built a certain way," Maurice said. "It's built with speed and it's built to be aggressive. Because of that we're going to try to continue that. " (Emphasis added).

Really? That's good to know. So, 2 days into this glorious goat f**k, let's see what that statement really translates into:

"Before practice Friday, Maurice’s second with the team, the Hurricanes discussed their defensive positioning in the neutral zone, taking an approach Eric Staal called “not so aggressive, . . .”

Can you say "trap" and "dump and chase" boys and girls? I thought you could.

I could say a lot more, but I've already said enough. I can only hope that by some cosmic miracle, this works out for the Canes. But I'm not optimistic. Playing lockdown hockey with a bunch of "offensive defensemen" doesn't inspire my confidence. And if Thursday's game was any indicator of what is to come, it shouldn't inspire yours either.

Thats what happens when you STILL suck

To borrow the line from our friend Tim Gleason - the Hurricanes are still rather crap-tastic one game into the 2nd Paul Maurice era.

At the Pens game last night - the Canes came out firing but had little success getting quality shots on Danny Sabourin. Sabu is about as solid of a backup that one could ask for. Leighton was looking good to start the year but his last few games have exhibited why he has been traded 47 times over his career. Out of position, not controlling rebounds, etc.. are all quick ways to let the other team pounce - as Pittsburgh did successfully nearly every time the puck was around the Canes' net. Sigh, Cam Ward can't get healthy soon enough.

How bad does this Carolina team look right now? As bad as they've been since the pre-lockout '03-'04 season. Sure they've had some clunkers of games over the past 3 seasons but on a consistent basis they've been real bad for quite some time now.

Melichar and Dwyer went back to Albany today. Melichar because he blows (see post below), Dwyer because Williams is back to being healthy. Good on Pat Dwyer for his time here. He got his 1st NHL goal and was playing his part well on the PK. In comes Tim Conboy and Casey Borer.

I was real impressed with Borer last season and lauded his play earlier this year. Glad to see him get his chance again with the big boys. He looked pretty good in pre-season this year and was one of the final cuts. So far on the season with a struggling Albany squad: 1 goal, 3 assists in 21 games. Keep in mind that he's coming back from a horrible knee injury and surgery.

You have to like Tim Conboy as a Hurricanes fan - the energy, the fights, hell - even his offensive contributions. You have to despise him as a fan of any other team. With the departure of Keith Aucoin to free agency (btw, Tater Aucoin will probably be in the line-up for the Caps on Sunday) - Conboy is the new captain of the River Rats. His first shift with the Hurricanes was last year's home game with the Colorado Avalanche. He drops the gloves with Scott Parker - who appeared to be 5 feet taller than him. He got his ass handed to him - but props for showing no fear and standing up to the other team's goon.
But Conboy may very well be certifiably crazy. Like belongs in Dorthea Dix Mental Hospital crazy. During his days of college hockey, he pulled what's being described as a "Todd Bertuzzi like play". He got suspended for his role in this brawl at the end of AHL season for the Rats in April. He bit Steve Downie on the hand earlier this year. He apparently took a run at some Caps players last year and Japer's Rink now refers to him as "Clownboy".

Either way, his infusion into the Hurricanes line-up can do nothing but help this struggling team right now. If they're gonna suck - they at least need to go down biting fighting. We'll see what happens against Philly & DC sat/sun.

Josef Melichar: The shutdown defenseman?

Seriously, why didn't Rutherford just sign this guy:

to a 1 year contract? His astonishing ugliness would do a better job of scaring away opposing forwards than Melichar's "shut-down" skills. Adios, Josef. Get down to Albany and please, stay down. Even better, I hear that the new KHL in Russia is really awesome and they are looking for defensemen your type!

In fact, if they're shuffling the roster around - why not sign these two?
They at least look prepared to provide some emotion and humor to lighten up the locker room!

It's Pens vs. Canes, Pensblog vs. COI

Pittsburgh still flying high into Raleigh tonight even as they lost to the Rain-jahs in a shootout last night. Everyone is curious to see how the team will react to one-eyed Paul being back behind the bench.

Oh yeah, and it's back-to-back nights of Staal Wars for Jordan as he played brother Marc in NY last night.


Interestingly enough, I'm squaring off against Pensblog Charlie this week in the Barry Melrose Rocks fantasy league. I'm off to a decent start through last night's games:

uh, "Do it." ?

Go Canes.

In other news , John Grahame kicked out of KHL?

Listen, anytime you bring up the topic of John Grahame - people seem to jump at it from all angles to either pile on or praise him. In what unofficially became the post for his secret fan club, this one had folks coming back near every time the former Canes goalie won a game in the KHL this year to comment and inform.

So here's your update Grahame lovers/haters:

Things aren't looking so good for Crackers and his future playing career after this blurb shows up today in my inbox:

"More trouble for Avangard Omsk"

"Yesterday near the club “Atlantid” Grahame was noticed in an intoxicated state, after which a police squad arrived and took him to a detoxification center. Club president Konstantin Potapov and Avangard general manger Anatoli Bardin came shortly after to collect him from there. Later from a source in the club came information that the management of the Hawks is going to terminate the contract with the hockey player. Another option that is not ruled out is the possibility of trading the player. The press service of the club has not yet officially commented on the situation."- Russian site, Sports Planet

So let me get this right.. a man can't even get drunk in a bar anymore without losing his job? What's this world coming to?

Strange news as the Russian translation is so vague on the description of events. Was Grahame just seen drunk and buzzed? Was he found passed out face down on the sidewalk outside the club? Did he almost Jimi Hendrix/Jim Morrison himself?

I'm not sure what exactly went down, but I do know that he hasn't been playing well - and the team finding out that he's piss-drunk and being arrested to detox would get just about anyone dismissed from any pro hockey team. This one here hopes he can get his act together to at least make a decent back-up goaltender in the NHL one day. Perhaps he could consult current River Rat Dan LaCouture - who gave up alcohol for the betterment of his personal life and hockey career.

After all, if you can't handle your liquor - you shouldn't be drinking in the first place.

h/t Beyond the Blueshirts

Can Kristen Laviolette stay if Peter has to go?

Peter Laviolette gets canned this morning. Shock and awe prevails. I'll miss Coach Lavi and wish him the best. I'll also certainly miss his lovely wife Kristen.

Replaced by Paul Maurice? Really? Is that the best choice?

Reaction thoughts will be posted tonight.