The first Photochop of 2009/2010

It's about that time boys and girls! The 2009/2010 NHL season is nearly begun! What madness awaits us? Time will tell. Friday can't come quick enough...

I've Got No Motivation

I hate the offseason.

Like most fans, I really want to see some live action hockey again. I miss it. And it makes it worse reading these little local blurb newspaper articles about how the guys are skating before camp, etc. It whets the appetite, yet all the while serving as a reminder that we are still a month away from real hockey.

I also hate having to watch stale reruns of games on the NHL network for my hockey fix. I've been compelled to watch the NHL network's replay of the 2009 playoffs and it is killing me. For some reason, it just doesn't feel right watching a game where you already know what is going to happen. What is even worse is that I find myself watching these games and coming up with various snarky insights, but realize that I am about 3 months too late to post them here with any impact or relevancy. And that is the point of this otherwise pointless post:

I've got no motivation.

This is why the blog has been woefully underutilized lately. I could blame it on the offseason, but surely I could find something to bitch/snark about. I mean, any half ass worth his salt come come up with something silly to post about the terms of the Marion Hossa deal: "Does a 4-year supply of 'Geritol' count against the salary cap?" Or maybe a disturbing photoshop of Gary Bettman peeling and feeding Sydney Crosby grapes from the Stanley Cup? Or maybe even a cheap joke: "How many Nick Wallins does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he wasn't going to light the lamp anymore anyway!" Surely I could come up with something...

But I've got no current motivation.

I could blame this on the summer and all the distractions (it sure is nice outside). I could blame it on being busy at work (and I am). I could blame it on the pressures of taking care of a 7 month old kid (what is that peculiar smell?). But I won't. Mainly, I've just been lazy, I guess.

But fear not. Though we may be in the hockey doldrums, I assure you that once the season starts, there will be plenty of snark and gripe to go around. My motivation will return. Soon, we will be back in full swing here at C.O.I. In fact, I've got a couple of post ideas with potential that I have been toying about with.

But we'll save those for when I am properly motivated.

Checking out Hurricanes memorabilia for sale on Craigslist

It's still summer. There's still no fresh hockey games on TV to watch. I've read Canes Country already today and I'm up to speed on the hockey happenings. It's slow at work on a lazy Friday afternoon - so what to do? Let's check out what there is for sale on the Raleigh craigslist for sale items under the search term: "Hurricanes".

Item #1: Carolina Hurricanes Collectibles (near RBC Center)

Among the goods:

"All prices negotiable

Go Canes Go 99.9 The Fan Sign $7
10th Anniversary Carolina Hurricanes Rod Brind'Amour Figurine $20

Carolina Hurricanes Grey Chevy Hat $5

Rod Brind'Amour Player Poster $15"

OK so this dude basically has saved up everything they give out at the front door of the games and is now trying to sell them for ridiculous prices. I got a better idea. How about I take a dump in a box, slap a Canes logo on it and then sell it to you for $20? Can deliver, ship, or you can pick up. All prices negotiable.

Next up:

NC STATE FANS *** BRAND NEW BRIGHT RED SPORTS BALL CAP !!! *** - $5 (N. Raleigh )

"Pictured at the bottom of the page is a brand new, bright red, 100% cotton, one size fits all, Devon & Jones ball cap. I received it as a gift, but have plenty of other caps. It would be a perfect addition to your NC STATE / NCSU or Carolina Hurricanes wardrobe. "

OK, WTF? You actually think someone will be foolish enough to buy this shitty red hat with nothing on it? By including NCSU or the Carolina Hurricanes in your description, you imply that fans of those teams would like this? If someone bought this for me, I think my reaction would be: "I'd rather have a terd in a box with a Canes logo on it.".

Moving on.

Item #3: Hurricanes Eric Stahl - $5 (Zebulon)

"I have some Eric Stahl posters from the 2003 season I believe it was. These were a one time printing. in great condition."

Sweet! Eric Stahl! He's like my favorite player ever! Well worth $100, much less $5!!! What a steal!

Jackass.

Item #4: Rare Carolina Hurricanes Snow Globe - $50 (Burlington,NC)

"Rare Carolina Hurricanes Snow Globe. Only 2,006 made. Players are Eric Staal, Rod Brind'Amour, and Cam Ward. "

Actually, this is pretty freakin sweet. Somebody buy this for me, please.

Is it October yet?

Is it too early to award NHL Executive of the Year for 2009-2010 to Jim Rutherford? Aaron Ward returns to Carolina in trade for Patrick Eaves.

(Bruins site)

Jimmy Rutherford contines his bang-up job this summer today by trading out a dissapointing player in Patrick Eaves for an old fan-favorite in Aaron Ward.

Add that to his re-signing of crucial free agents in LaRose, Cole and Ruutu as well as bringing on tough new players in Andrew Alberts and Greek Lightning, and you've got a boner-fied threat to the Eastern Conference champs once again. Seriously, if last year's team could take it all the way to the Conference finals - what are the chances of heading back with a stronger version of the same team? Pretty damn good if you ask me.

Now, in regards to Punch-Gate - (Aaron Ward becoming a teammate of the guy that cold-cocked him), it's going to be a non-issue between the two players. But you'd better believe that the media will cook up a storm about it. Count on it. (Hi Canada!)

Welcome home Aaron, enjoy actually getting to live in your new house!

Aaron joins my buddy Brandon in Buffalo for a cocktail during an off-night, 2006.

Tracking the European's off-season - fun with Google Translator

There's only so much that us hockey fanatics can find in the doldrums of summer to feed our fixes. Will he or won't he sign in X location? Will they or won't they trade X player? Well I'm to the point where exploring other platforms to get my pucky news is going on.

While I didn't necessarily find any surprising, up-to-date news on any of our Swedes, Russians or Finns - I did find a few gems to share with you.

Last March, Tuomo Ruutu was apparently voted as the top sexy single in Finland but he's not just a hockey player. No, he's a "puck lion":
"Iltalehti.fi's readers have chosen the Finnish sexy sinkuiksi puck lion Tuomo screen, and the singer Jenni Vartiainen. Vastaajia viehättää Tuomo Ruudussa muun muassa hänen komeutensa ja hymynsä. Respondents attracts Tuomo screen, including his komeutensa and hymynsä. Urosleijonaa äänesti 29 prosenttia lukijoista. The male lion has voted 29 per cent readers. - Aggressiivisuus ja intohimo jäällä saavat tämän naisen pauloihinsa. - Aggression and passion on the ice to this woman pauloihinsa. Vapaalla Tuomo taas on todella rento ja hyvin pukeutuva mies, yksi äänestäjistä perusteli valintaansa. Free Tuomo again is really cool and well dress male, one for the voters to justify their choice. " - Google Translation of some Finn celebrity site

Yeah, I have the same problem all the time with women being drawn to mykomeutensa and hymynsa. I feel your pain, Tuomo. Pimpin' ain't easy.

Next up I found a blog from some Swedes about Nic Wallin and their adventures in Raleigh going to the games at the RBC Center:

"In the parking lot were several groups that proposed the grill and enjoyed a cold Pilsner in the spring sun. It also has different sheets contests where you could measure its kind shoots or shoot dot on a paper canvas. There is also a live band to entertain the audience while waiting for OFF. Hockey is a stunt here and I do not see why not Elitserien clubs do not follow the concept." - Kuriren blog from Sweden

Yes you see - it's not so much - "C'mon boys, let's throw some brats on the grill and toss back a few brew-hahas before the game" - it's better described as "proposing" the grill. Is the contest he's talking about cornhole? I haven't the slightest.

Is it October yet? Crap.

Proper hazing to welcome Andrew Alberts & Tom Kostopoulos to the Canes

My boy Jimmy has come through with some clutch signings in the month of July with Erik Cole and Chad LaRose both returning. But today I welcome in D-man Andrew Alberts and forward Tom Kostopoulos to Carolina the only way I know how: by making fun of them.

To Tommy the Greek Kostopoulos: First off - you sound great and I vaguely remember you as a Hab. My boys from FHF dig you so that goes a long way. But I'm concerned that living and playing in the South around all these fun bars and nice women's fashion stores may drive you to be an accomplice to more purse thefts. Yes I know that HE didn't steal the purse that night in Tampa Bay, but hey - guilt by association when something as embarrassing as that happens.

So you're a prankster, eh? Is someone going to have to lock you in your hotel room every time the Canes play Lightning in Tampa?

What the hell is going on with your last name? The letter "O" makes an appearance like 8 freaking times. But it is easy to come up with nicknames with a name like that. It happened spontaneously at 850 the Buzz's post about him today. I'm still fond of my Flight of the Conchords reference; "They call me the Hip-Hop-Kostopoulos, my lyrics are bottomless". So uh, yeah welcome aboard. Do good, please.

To Andrew Alberts: It took a minute, but I figured out why I remembered him:

Of course! He's the one that Scott Walker looked up a foot to and still beat his ass. But he's a hitter and someone who's finally a "defensive" defenseman. There hasn't been a d-man acquisition in a long time that was "D" first in Carolina, it seems. What is it like having two first names? At least those two aren't "Harry" and "Dick". Alberts can join in the "dude, I know how that feels" fun whenever someone has another gruesome injury on the Hurricanes this year: (from his Boston days, apparently)
Pretty kickass July. Nice weather, fun weekends and the band is back together with a good fresh beat added in. Well done, Jimmy Boy.

Happy Summer to all