Dissapointment

Leafs 6 - Canes 4. EPIC FAIL.

In case you didn't know it, I'm easily entertained

Just in time for the Toronto/Canes game Thursday night...

Head on over to Barry Melrose Rocks to find out what the hell this is about!

You gotta be kidding me: Canes to bring back Jeff O'Neill?

(photo: 850 the Buzz)

Luke posted a lengthy blog entry tonight which was great to see in this dead time of hockey and sports in general. For the Caniacs deprived, almost any news is good news right now. Almost that is, until you see a headline like this:

O'Neill back in Canes' plans - maybe

The team is interested in talking contract with the one and only Jeff O'Neill.

I'll admit that I had to make sure my contacts hadn't fallen out upon first reading that. Out of all the free agent possibilities for the Hurricanes to be talking to - they're back in cahoots with the Diva himself? Sure, he was one of the team's all-time leading scorers - but it's no longer 2001 and there are reasons why he wasn't playing in the NHL last season.

My boy, Jimmy mentioned that if he were to join the organization - it would be as a depth center. Is this a sign of how confident the team is regarding the health of Matt Cullen? They're so concerned that Cully hasn't/won't recover from his two concussions last year that Jeff O'Neill playing out of position would be an effective emergency alternative?

I can't wait to read what the Acid Queen has to say about this.

You know you want some Frank Kaberle for your team

Recent trade rumor-mongering has alienated the Hurricanes' Frantisek Kaberle as the guy who is the "you're cool and all, but you stink" player and supposedly headed for either for Atlanta or the Florida Everblades (via the Arturs Irbe treatment). I would however like to offer a contrary opinion to the mass public on this fine, outstanding young gentleman. And this is totally not to advertise his services to the Atlanta Thrashers.

First of all, Mr. GM Don Waddell. Can I call you Donnie? Great. Donnie, let me just tell you how much Frank has impressed Caniac Nation over the past few seasons. Not only is he the sole reason that they won Lord Stanley's Mug, he also happens to be a former Atlanta Thrasher.

Secondly, his last name is Kaberle. He has a brother who is a superstar with the Toronto Maple Leafs and is almost nearly as good as Frantisek.

Third - his critics claim that he hasn't been the same since his reconstructive shoulder surgery in 2006 and that he is as useful defensively as a pylon. No way dude! He's played great every game. Even the 50 odd games that he was on the IR - breathtaking, inspiring hockey player.

Really, to put it simply: Frantisek Kaberle is all that is man. Don't believe me? Take a look at what he did when his inferior brother's team visited the home arena this past season:





Look, Donnie. Defenseman don't just fall from trees these days. They're mighty expensive too. For two large/per, you can have a Kaberle with all the offensive defenseman prowess that you'll ever need.

By the way, your suit looks sharp.

Ward & his Blackbeard mask vs. Andrew Raycroft

Head over to the NHL Tournament of Logos and vote for Cam's badass Blackbeard inspired goalie mask which is in the 2nd round against Toronto's Andrew Raycroft. Pretty close as of today.

Raycroft vs. Ward

Update 5/6 - and he wins, to move on to the 3rd round.

Too bad this mask ate it when it was cracked towards the end of season.

Ovechkin Eliminated from Playoffs; Bettman Cancels Remainder of 2008 NHL Playoffs; Awards Cup to Ottawa Senators Instead

Dateline: Toronto

In a move unprecedented in professional sports, the NHL today cancelled the remainder of the Stanley Cup Playoffs; opting instead to simply award the Stanley Cup to the Ottawa Senators next Tuesday. “Going forward, we just felt that this move was the best course for both the league and its fans”, said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. "Without Ovechkin to look forward to, there's nothing left that's worth seeing. And without that magnificent Russian scoring machine, what will the NHL beat writers possibly write about. Who in their right mind would want to read a hockey article that wasn't all about the wonderful Ovechkin? Certainly not me..."

As for awarding the cup to Ottawa, Bettman said it just felt like the right thing to do. "They've got such talented players and they've worked so hard. You just feel bad for them. Plus, they are a Canadian team, so the vast majority of our fanbase will be somewhat pleased. Just think what would've happened to me if I'd just given the cup back to those NASCAR loving hicks in Carolina", remarked Bettman. "You'd find my burned out carcass nailed to a tree outside of Moose Twat, British Columbia if I'd done that. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna give Lord Stanley's cereal bowl to those quiche eating surrender monkeys in Quebec either."

However, some NHL owners and General Managers were visibly outraged. “I think this really stinks”, said Cliff Fletcher, Interim General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs. “If any team deserves to just be handed the Stanley Cup, it is the Toronto Maple Leafs. It’s not like we have the talent to win it by ourselves. Jesus, our coach is Paul Maurice for god’s sake. But Ottawa? Their Captain is from Sweden and their Goaltender is friggin Swiss! I’d rather see my daughter in a whorehouse than see Daniel Alfredsson’s name on our cup.” Fletcher bristled at the suggestion that the Maple Leaf’s Captain was also Swedish. “That’s a lie! This is Mats Sundin you’re talking about! Sundin not Sedin! How dare you criticize Mats Sundin! Mats Sundin is as Canadian as baseball and apple pie. All he’s ever done is given his heart and soul to our beloved Maple Leafs, and you reward him by questioning his Canadian heritage? Damn you all! Damn you all to hell!!!” Future Maple Leafs GM Jim Rutherford had no comment on the cancellation, but did mutter something unintelligible about Peter Laviolette, a tire iron and a garbage dumpster.

Other General Managers were also perplexed by the move. “I don’t know how the league can just arbitrarily award the Stanley Cup to some team other than the Red Wings”, said Detroit General Manager Ken Holland. “If the cup belongs anywhere, it is in Detroit. It’s a natural fit: Detroit is known worldwide as ‘Hockey Town’. And this place is such a crime infested sh*thole, we could use any help we can get to take our residents’ mind off the high unemployment rate and the rest of their miserable existence. By the way, you aren’t going to print that last part are you?”

Montreal Canadiens coach Guy Carbonneau also weighed in strongly on the matter, saying: "Rezendez vous, parlez vous, voulez vous couche' avec moi, ce soi. Chateau Marcel Marceau escargot. Oui, oui mon cherie. Quiche vichyssoise! Inspector Clouseau. American pig dog! Ptooey!". He then smeared white makeup on his face, put on a black outfit with a striped shirt and funny hat, and tried to storm silently out of the room; but was thwarted when he encountered what appeared to be a very strong headwind. Unable to make headway, he became temporarily trapped in what might've been a glass box, before slowly pulling himself out of the room by means of an apparently invisible rope.

Oddly, Buffalo Sabres coach, Lindy Ruff’s response to the news was uncharacteristically calm: “This is B*llsh*T!!!” roared Ruff. “$#@%! *&%^, #*&#, *&%#ing bleep! We *&%#ing sucked way *&%#ing worse than those arrogant *&%#ing Ottawa Senators did! In fact, they were so *&%#ing arrogant they had *&%#ing champagne in their *&%#ing lockerroom before game four against the *&%#ing Penguins. They *&%#ing knew they were going to be awarded the *&%#ing cup. The league *&%#ing hates us. Everybody *&%#ing hates us. We get no *&%#ing respect. Their all out to get us. Well I'll just have somebody take out Spezza's knee or Heatley's achilles tendon and see how they *&%#ing like it. That's old time hockey right there. How Ottawa gets a cup without even putting a skate in the crease is beyond me. *&%# off and die!"

This unexpected cancellation comes on the immediate heels of the Philadelphia Flyer’s overtime, game-seven defeat of the Washington Capitals and the corresponding elimination of the NHL’s new poster boy Alexander Ovechkin. But despite increasingly strong outcries from the players and team executives to continue the playoffs as scheduled, the league remained firm in it’s position. “I mean, without Alexander Ovechkin in the mix, what’s the point”, said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. “Sure, Sidney Crosby was still in the hunt, but he’s like so ‘last year’. That’s not to knock Sid or anything. He’s still got those juicy lips and a wicked wrist shot, but let’s face it; he’s no Alex Ovechkin. With that nut-hair beard and Russian accent, Ovi’s so dreamy I could just scream. And besides, given the NHL’s abysmal Nielson ratings, and the fact that Versus is only available in 16 U.S. households, it’s not like anybody will notice the difference anyway. ”

The Commissioner’s attempts to justify the action did little to allay the ire of angry team officials. “So this whole thing was because Gary went and got himself all butthurt that his Russian boy toy got eliminated?” stormed Leafs GM Fletcher. Well, we’ve got a Russian too, but I didn’t see that rat faced little bastard cancelling the season back in January when the Leafs were out of contention! Hell, you want Russian? How about Alexei Ponikarovsky? You can’t get anymore Russian than ‘Alexei Ponikarovsky’. Sh*t fire, I'll bet every one of you a shiny new quarter with a beaver on the back that you can't even pronounce Ponikarovsky! Hell, ‘Alexander’ could be damn near anything, except maybe Chinese or Korean. But Alexei? ... THAT’s pure Russian.” When asked his thoughts on Fletcher's Russian theory, Rutherford simply smiled and said, "Samsonov".

Meanwhile, the sporadic cable network Versus scrambled to fill its now vacant evening lineup. “Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘scrambling’”, remarked Jamie Davis, President of Versus Network. “We’ve got plenty of PBR Bullriding footage that’s just begging to be aired. And we’ve got years of old Tour de France highlights that we can, uh... recycle, pardon the pun. While we here at Versus are deeply disappointed that we will not have any more exciting NHL action to broadcast this spring; we are excited about the huge increase in ratings that PBR Bullriding and pre-recorded European Bicycling are sure to garner in these time slots.”

Another KO in OT on TO

Downright entertaining game last night at the giant ATM with the Canes finishing off the Leafs in OT on a Brind'amour goal. 'Twas a fine way to close out the month of January winning 4 of their last 5 and two in a row.

Despite giving up the 1st goal (again) to internet dong-slinger Jiri Tlusty, the Hurricanes maintained pressure and had their way with the Leafers in the offensive zone.

How about Tim Gleason? The man played a sound defensive game but scored the 1st goal and had the primary helper on Scott Walker's tip-in in the 3rd. Who needs Jack Johnson? :)

The team will hit the road for what will be the longest remaining road trip of the season starting Saturday night in Pittsburgh. Great way to begin the trek with a head full of steam.

Will JR resort to "The Arturs Irbe" treatment?

Since mid-November, nearly every game recap you read mentioned that the Hurricanes "are now 2-8-1 in their last..." or something similar. Throw those figures out. The boys lost to arguably the worst team in all of hockey last night while also losing their Southeast division lead.

Everyone has their ideas as to why such a talented team is struggling so badly.

Injuries - sure the Canes have been hit hard again this season with injuries. Per The N&O:

"The Hurricanes have now lost 148 man-games to injury, on pace to exceed last season's total of 250 and approach the 2005-06 mark of 267."

Coach Laviolette is correct with his "no excuses" approach to blaming injuries. Anyone remember what this team did that 05-06 season?

Goaltending - Overheard from co-blogger East of Here - Cam Ward, despite a strong start - has been referred to as a not-so-flattering "Cam Weekes". Strong sometimes, very fluky at others. However, it matters not who is in goal when the NHL's worst defense and penalty kill hang their goaltender out to dry.

Management - For all the wonderful things my boy Jimmy has done here, a killer right now are the amount of no-trade clauses within the Canes contract players. A large portion of players who come to Raleigh love living here and want to stay. Were these NTC's issued as a way to keep the players happy or a method of offering smaller figures in contract negotiations?

Complacency - This is the silver bullet, IMO. There is absolutely no excuse for a professional athlete to "take nights off". Arturs Irbe had a great finishing touch on his long career in the NHL with Carolina, backstopping the team to the Stanley Cup Finals in 2002. Next season after that? He's paid his full NHL level contract to play in the ECHL.

This team used to live by the slogan "Whatever It Takes". Is the Arturs Irbe treatment what it will take to get this team heading in the right direction? John Grahame was put on waivers, sent to the River Rats supposedly to "set an example". He feels that it was a slap in the face. What's more important here? - hurting a players feelings or doing whatever it takes to win?

The Craig Adams high-stick to Alex Steen

2 games for this. No game suspension for the Leafs after trying to take out Erik Cole.

WTF?

We stink, you almost ready to go?

Well, let's hang around for another minute.
(Stiller scores)
Awesome! We've got a chance. We're probably still doomed.
(Wizard scores)
AH!!!! Whaaaaaaat!?! YES!!
(OT - On the power play yet we haven't scored a PP marker since the Hartford days)
d00d - we've got to score here.
(Staal farts a shot towards the net, Walker tips in)
Awlriiiiite. Awesome. WE ARE THE BEST TEAM EVER!

The Kaberle family got to see both their sons play a decent game, with Frank getting a helper and Tomas getting an assist and a PP goal.

It was great to see the remaining crowd at the RBC all on their feet during the OT period.

Cory Stillman is a beast. BEAST!

Since this game wasn't televised locally, here's the YouTubeage

You're My Boy Jimmy!

The longest tenured NHL General Manager (with one team) is still our very own, Jimmy Boy Rutherford. As quick as ownership groups are to put the blame on their GMs when their teams start sucking, you have to respect the fact that J.R. got the benefit of doubt when the Canes finished in last place the year before the lockout (and then was named "Businessperson of the Year" by Triangle Business Journal and won some Cup, or something). Something is bound to happen soon with a trade shake-up and whether in the long haul, the team wins or loses -- trust in JR to do what's right for Carolina.

That being said, will something please happen in Toronto with their coaching/management cluster-muck? I've seen and read enough about their shoddy season WAY too much this week.

All the hullabaloo simply makes this Caniac happy to have the stability of good management, top to bottom.

Touchdown Hurricanes!

And the extra point is good!

Ever have a significant other / grandparent / child who seemingly has no idea what sport you are watching but tries to act like they care? That worked last night, "yeah honey, they just scored a touchdown on the ice".

The Canes brought out the boo-birds early and had the suits in the suites for the majority of the 2nd & 3rd periods at the ACC by wholloping the Leafs 7-1. Better yet, they did it for all hockey fans who watch TV in both Canada & the USA - there were no other games even played last night!

Damnit, Chad LaRose deserved to get some points and goals last night. He got straight up robbed several times by Leafs goalie Vesa Toskala who actually made several brilliant saves while his teammates hung him out to dry. Anyone remember the last time we matched up against him? He got smoked in net for San Jose towards the end of last season.

Did anyone else hear the VS color commentator at the end of the game refer to the team as the "Whoricanes" ?

Chuck Norris Chad LaRose Could Play On Williams-Brindamour Line

Canes in Toronto tonight to take on the Leafs. Their Captain, Mats Sundin, is one goal away from breaking the all time TML goal record and one point away from tying Sittler for all time points as well. OK, we gave Juicy Lips his 200th career point last season. We gave Oven-chicken his 200th on Friday in DC when we laid turds on the ice. Can we please get the shutout tonight or at least shutout Sundin?
It should be a tough battle tonight in the Air Canada Center. Will we see the Hurricanes team that dominated the Pens or the one that laid down and bent over for the Craps? According to the N&O today, Chad LaRose might be filling in on a line with Justin Williams & Roddy Brind'amour, offering him his time to shine.

• Chad LaRose does not sleep. He waits.


• Chad LaRose can slam a revolving door.


• Chad LaRose's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

A gracious thanks to C-Leaguer for the Rosey nickname.

Informal Practice @ Camp Brind'amour

I spent my lunch break at the RecZone today watching the informal practices. My, how odd Bates Battaglia looks out there in full Leafs practice gear with the Canes! Apparently, his little brother is out there too. Ward-O, Crackers, and I'm thinking Leighton (was that him? ps - I think he'll be the next nickname contest...) were the 3 goaltenders taking turns in net. I arrived to see them in a 4-on-4 scrimmage type.

Yes, Hedican was skating quickly and looked on top of his game. But these sessions are for the most part non-contact. Fra-gee-lay. (two Christmas Story references in two days!)

Damn was it nice to see Matt Cullen out skating with the team. I plan on coming out as often as possible next week to the Rec to see them do the Camp Brindy sessions before they shift to the RBC for official practices.

The Wuff camera will be going with me next week. Hope to have some decent vids or photos to display.

Have You Seen Any of These Guys?

Perhaps participating in some Molson/Labatt's drinking competition Monday night in Toronto?



After last night's 6-1 sloppy loss, I'm just wondering that's all.

The Leafs Are Falling

It's got to be tough as a Toronto Maple Leaf fan. That sympathy won't last past 7:30 tonight for Caniac Nation. With MTL, NYI, and Carolina all competing for the final playoff spot, the Leafs once again are on the outside looking in. Our canes are rocking right now, and Cason's skepticism department is losing steam with each game played.

Let's hope Coach Mo, Jeff O'Neill, and Lucky B don't have that '02 come from behind magic in them anymore.



Yes, that's the most recent of their championships.