The Politics of Bobbleheads

As you all already know, I really hate bobbleheads. In fact, by now you probably think I have some weird sort of obsessive/compulsive, Paula Abdul stalker kinda thing about bobbleheads. But, I assure you I don't. I just don't like them. They are creepy.

But having said that, I simply can't resist breaking down the bobbleheads/figurines/chotchkes that the Canes give away. Mainly because it is so easy and fun to do. However, about a week or two ago, I sat down to analyze the Cam Ward bobblehead. At the outset, I took a look at the picture of the thing:

I stared at it for about a second and a half and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew EXACTLY who that bobblehead was modeled after. It was unmistakable. It was uncanny. But it couldn't be. It just couldn't. But oh holy shit it was! It is beyond doubt. That's not Cam Ward. It's Barack-frigging-Obama!

Tell me it ain't? You can't!!!

Now if it'd been anyone but Obama, I might've been able to chalk this up to some one in a million coincidence. But, when I went to photochop the damn graphic above, it was a perfect match. Seriously, I cut out a picture of Obama, and pasted it over the bobblehead Cam-face and it fit perfectly without any alterations. Even the ears matched up perfect. Just like Disney hides pictures of tits and weiners in their kiddie movies, somebody tried to slip this one past us. And initially, I thought this was a brilliant coup d'etat. I mean, come on! They put out an Obama hockey bobblehead! That is a pretty slick joke. But...

The more I thought about it, the lamer it got. And here's why: They were lazy. They didn't develop the plan far enough. And as a result, they missed a bundle of punchlines. It could've been sweeter than Yoo-Hoo. But they fell short. If I were in charge of designing surrepticiously political-oriented bobbleheads, I'd have knocked this one out of the park. How so? Allow me to 'splain it to you:

First off, there's no symmetry here. Barack Obama as a goalie? It's just wrong. It's too random. It makes no sense. Nobody is gullible enough to believe that. How the hell can you try to pass off Barack Obama as a goalie, when the whole world knows he's a left winger?

This got me to thinking. What if they modeled all the bobbleheads after political figures? What would you come up with? For me it was easy. I already knew the perfect political fantasy lineup:

This is a no brainer. Can there be any better prototypical left winger than Che' Guevara? Of course not. Look at that playoff beard and Mexi-mullet. He'd have rocked in the NHL. And judging from the number of people he apparently sent to the firing squads, you know he'd have to have a pretty wicked shot. Yes, I know... When you look at the numbers, Stalin was a more prolific shooter, but he just doesn't have the appeal that Che' does with the younger demographic. Nowadays, the NHL is all about marketing. And with Che's track record with T-Shirt sales, you know that dude would move a mountain of replica jerseys. The dude is money in the bank!

Imagine the confidence of streaking down the ice, with Uncle Jesse on your wing. He's the ultimate right winger. Sure, he'd never be a natural scorer like John F. Kennedy (LW) was; but the guy knew how to get results. He would win every single faceoff. And unlike John Edwards (LW), he would never get kicked out of the faceoff circle for cheating. Of course, he'd be less successful defensively now that the league has done away with obstruction. But back in the day, he'd have been a one-man neutral zone trap. In fact, with his record of blocking things, he could probably even play goal. But either way, you know he'd always have your back. Unless you are Anson Carter, but that's another story altogether...

There's not much more you could say about McCain. He is about as close a thing to center that we've seen in quite a while. Overall, he'd be a hard, dependable worker. And he could play well with most anybody. You need guys like that on your team. The only problem you'd have with him is that if he ever took a penalty, it'd get pretty damn ugly. After his time spent in the Hanoi Hilton, you sure as hell wouldn't want to be the unlucky ref that tried to put him in the box.

And finally, your goalie would be Hillary Clinton. Nothing deters scoring like that face. I mean, who in their right mind would want to score on that? In fact, nobody in their right mind would even go near her crease. So she'd be a natural in goal. Of course, this leads us to the logical question to wrap up this post: If Hillary Clinton was an NHL goalie, who would her ironic bobblehead look like?

Monica Lewinsky perhaps? Think of the possibilities...

Canes @ Senators - Will Uh Oh Corvo strike again?

Tuesday night has the Canes finishing up a brief, three game road trip in Ottawa before a home game against the Leafs on Thursday. Not to pile on, but in case you didn't already know - Ottawa isn't very good this year.

Okay, they're terrible.

After a dominant run through the 06-07 playoffs that ended with a defeat to Anaheim, they mother-trucked their way through the first half of the season compiling a franchise best winning streak at the start last year. Then, they started to slide. They made the playoffs last season (largely in part because the Hurricanes shit the bed didn't) but were easily swept by the Penguins.

This season, the slide continues as they currently sit 29th out of 30 NHL teams just above the Drive-For-John-Tavares NY Islanders. Fans are calling for GM Bryan Murray's head. They're calling for Coach Craig Hartsburg head. Amidst all this clamo(u)r - the Senators bloggers have been keeping us all entertained.

Where the Hurricanes have been using the team slogan of "Our Team. Our Tradition.", if you visit the Ottawa Senators front page, you see "A Force United". With the disappointing play over the past year - the Sens Army has formed an underground rebellion of sorts titled "A Farce United".Above is friend to COI, Senators Lost Cojones, seen shortly after drowning his sorrows in his bitchin man room. SLC runs the hysterical blog, Five For Smiting. SLC was kind enough to give us a bit of a scouting report on his favorite team of underachievers:

"we're a mess. We can't score, can't stop getting scored upon, the goalies can't be trusted (Young Master Elliot aside), the coaching staff have no clue how to fix it, the GM just sits there and scowls, the playoffs are nothing but a pipe dream, and the howling mobs are so discouraged, we've put away the torches and pitchforks and pulled out the "Welcome John Tavares!" banners. I think that just about covers it. Good luck on Tuesday. Please be gentle."

Thanks for stopping by SLC, and may Joe Corvo & Patrick Eaves haunt your soul both score hat tricks give you a big high-five!

Ottawa has all the talent needed to win on any given night but hasn't. Carolina could easily be walking into a trap here. We'll see what happens I suppose!

Go Canes!

Thank God that Tuomo Ruutu isn't bat-sh*t crazy like his brother

Case in point - Jerko Ruutu's shenanigans last night in Buffalo:

Listen, it's great to be aggressive. It's a good thing to be a little crazy and unpredictable. And while Tuomo Ruutu may get called with a questionable hit or check from time to time, you (hopefully) won't ever see him resort to this kind of BS.

Speaking of Ruuty, I'm loving his game-winning goal highlight from the Devils game last night:

Tuomo has had some big time, clutch goals this year. The MTL OT winner comes to mind. As does the game at St. Louis. Last night just added to the Ruutu lovefest in Raleigh.

Anyone remember this quote from then coach Denis Savard as Ruutu left Chicago for Carolina?:
"watching him play for a couple years, a lot of times he had complete possession of the puck and just fell down."

Unfortunately, Savard was spot-on with that assessment. You've got to love him if you're a Caniac, but damn if he isn't the clumsiest skater I've seen. My zinger whenever he gets the puck is "Arrrrrrrre You Ready To Stummmmmmmble?!?!?!?" Not exactly as sure-footed as a mountain goat.

Good times.

The Canes can make the playoffs again if...

(image via Flickr's Kaatiya)

Some of them are saying that this will finally be the year that the Hurricanes make it back to the postseason, while others are still not convinced. After giving it some thought, I'm still undecided on what to expect from this year's team. The past two seasons have seen squads loaded with talent that either couldn't play because of injury or perhaps because of complacence.

I see the Canes being either Division Champs or at least playoff-bound again IF they can avoid their evil twin named "Slackass".

Don't remember him? Let me remind you:

December 12, 2008. Ottawa Senators are in Raleigh to take on the Canes. The Sens were still the hottest team in hockey and hadn't completely dismantled themselves yet. Carolina was coming off of a rather mediocre streak. They played at the Bell Centre in Montreal to remind themselves how to win. Less than 24 hours later, they had to play the eventual SC Champion Red Wings in Detroit and lost 5-2 (but sort of played them respectively).

So in comes OTT on the homecoming for the Hurricanes and instead of playing tough, they let the Sens walk all over them and it led to bloggers posting stuff like this:

East of Here's: Just What Am I Paying For?

and Caniacs in general either drank the sorrows away that night or cried in their collective pillows.

Fast forward a month. The NY Islanders are in the RBC Center. With the exception of Samsonov joining the team, January has sucked for the Canes as they are still losing to teams they can take craps bigger than. The Isles squad manages to score all 3 of their first goals on shorties. It's a NYI record. Outstanding. And D-Lee noted that two of them were on the same Carolina power play. Wade Dubielewicz (and his imposing stature) allows 3 Hurricanes goals but stands on his head to make 44 of 47 saves in a 6-3 win. Pathetic.

---

Unfortunately, there are a number of other games that I could have chosen to reference. If the Hurricanes can avoid games like those - they'll hopefully find themselves in a position where they don't have to win their final game of the season to make the playoffs.

Ovechkin Eliminated from Playoffs; Bettman Cancels Remainder of 2008 NHL Playoffs; Awards Cup to Ottawa Senators Instead

Dateline: Toronto

In a move unprecedented in professional sports, the NHL today cancelled the remainder of the Stanley Cup Playoffs; opting instead to simply award the Stanley Cup to the Ottawa Senators next Tuesday. “Going forward, we just felt that this move was the best course for both the league and its fans”, said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. "Without Ovechkin to look forward to, there's nothing left that's worth seeing. And without that magnificent Russian scoring machine, what will the NHL beat writers possibly write about. Who in their right mind would want to read a hockey article that wasn't all about the wonderful Ovechkin? Certainly not me..."

As for awarding the cup to Ottawa, Bettman said it just felt like the right thing to do. "They've got such talented players and they've worked so hard. You just feel bad for them. Plus, they are a Canadian team, so the vast majority of our fanbase will be somewhat pleased. Just think what would've happened to me if I'd just given the cup back to those NASCAR loving hicks in Carolina", remarked Bettman. "You'd find my burned out carcass nailed to a tree outside of Moose Twat, British Columbia if I'd done that. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna give Lord Stanley's cereal bowl to those quiche eating surrender monkeys in Quebec either."

However, some NHL owners and General Managers were visibly outraged. “I think this really stinks”, said Cliff Fletcher, Interim General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs. “If any team deserves to just be handed the Stanley Cup, it is the Toronto Maple Leafs. It’s not like we have the talent to win it by ourselves. Jesus, our coach is Paul Maurice for god’s sake. But Ottawa? Their Captain is from Sweden and their Goaltender is friggin Swiss! I’d rather see my daughter in a whorehouse than see Daniel Alfredsson’s name on our cup.” Fletcher bristled at the suggestion that the Maple Leaf’s Captain was also Swedish. “That’s a lie! This is Mats Sundin you’re talking about! Sundin not Sedin! How dare you criticize Mats Sundin! Mats Sundin is as Canadian as baseball and apple pie. All he’s ever done is given his heart and soul to our beloved Maple Leafs, and you reward him by questioning his Canadian heritage? Damn you all! Damn you all to hell!!!” Future Maple Leafs GM Jim Rutherford had no comment on the cancellation, but did mutter something unintelligible about Peter Laviolette, a tire iron and a garbage dumpster.

Other General Managers were also perplexed by the move. “I don’t know how the league can just arbitrarily award the Stanley Cup to some team other than the Red Wings”, said Detroit General Manager Ken Holland. “If the cup belongs anywhere, it is in Detroit. It’s a natural fit: Detroit is known worldwide as ‘Hockey Town’. And this place is such a crime infested sh*thole, we could use any help we can get to take our residents’ mind off the high unemployment rate and the rest of their miserable existence. By the way, you aren’t going to print that last part are you?”

Montreal Canadiens coach Guy Carbonneau also weighed in strongly on the matter, saying: "Rezendez vous, parlez vous, voulez vous couche' avec moi, ce soi. Chateau Marcel Marceau escargot. Oui, oui mon cherie. Quiche vichyssoise! Inspector Clouseau. American pig dog! Ptooey!". He then smeared white makeup on his face, put on a black outfit with a striped shirt and funny hat, and tried to storm silently out of the room; but was thwarted when he encountered what appeared to be a very strong headwind. Unable to make headway, he became temporarily trapped in what might've been a glass box, before slowly pulling himself out of the room by means of an apparently invisible rope.

Oddly, Buffalo Sabres coach, Lindy Ruff’s response to the news was uncharacteristically calm: “This is B*llsh*T!!!” roared Ruff. “$#@%! *&%^, #*&#, *&%#ing bleep! We *&%#ing sucked way *&%#ing worse than those arrogant *&%#ing Ottawa Senators did! In fact, they were so *&%#ing arrogant they had *&%#ing champagne in their *&%#ing lockerroom before game four against the *&%#ing Penguins. They *&%#ing knew they were going to be awarded the *&%#ing cup. The league *&%#ing hates us. Everybody *&%#ing hates us. We get no *&%#ing respect. Their all out to get us. Well I'll just have somebody take out Spezza's knee or Heatley's achilles tendon and see how they *&%#ing like it. That's old time hockey right there. How Ottawa gets a cup without even putting a skate in the crease is beyond me. *&%# off and die!"

This unexpected cancellation comes on the immediate heels of the Philadelphia Flyer’s overtime, game-seven defeat of the Washington Capitals and the corresponding elimination of the NHL’s new poster boy Alexander Ovechkin. But despite increasingly strong outcries from the players and team executives to continue the playoffs as scheduled, the league remained firm in it’s position. “I mean, without Alexander Ovechkin in the mix, what’s the point”, said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. “Sure, Sidney Crosby was still in the hunt, but he’s like so ‘last year’. That’s not to knock Sid or anything. He’s still got those juicy lips and a wicked wrist shot, but let’s face it; he’s no Alex Ovechkin. With that nut-hair beard and Russian accent, Ovi’s so dreamy I could just scream. And besides, given the NHL’s abysmal Nielson ratings, and the fact that Versus is only available in 16 U.S. households, it’s not like anybody will notice the difference anyway. ”

The Commissioner’s attempts to justify the action did little to allay the ire of angry team officials. “So this whole thing was because Gary went and got himself all butthurt that his Russian boy toy got eliminated?” stormed Leafs GM Fletcher. Well, we’ve got a Russian too, but I didn’t see that rat faced little bastard cancelling the season back in January when the Leafs were out of contention! Hell, you want Russian? How about Alexei Ponikarovsky? You can’t get anymore Russian than ‘Alexei Ponikarovsky’. Sh*t fire, I'll bet every one of you a shiny new quarter with a beaver on the back that you can't even pronounce Ponikarovsky! Hell, ‘Alexander’ could be damn near anything, except maybe Chinese or Korean. But Alexei? ... THAT’s pure Russian.” When asked his thoughts on Fletcher's Russian theory, Rutherford simply smiled and said, "Samsonov".

Meanwhile, the sporadic cable network Versus scrambled to fill its now vacant evening lineup. “Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘scrambling’”, remarked Jamie Davis, President of Versus Network. “We’ve got plenty of PBR Bullriding footage that’s just begging to be aired. And we’ve got years of old Tour de France highlights that we can, uh... recycle, pardon the pun. While we here at Versus are deeply disappointed that we will not have any more exciting NHL action to broadcast this spring; we are excited about the huge increase in ratings that PBR Bullriding and pre-recorded European Bicycling are sure to garner in these time slots.”

Karma comes back to bite Bryan Murray

Ottawa Senators GM/Coach Bryan Murray sent off Joe Corvo with a few choice insults during his trade to Carolina earlier this year. It was well documented throughout the MSM and blogosphere that he was being a bit of a bush-leaguer with his trash talking of former players. Now granted, Joe Corvo's performance in Ottawa was deserving of some criticism - but the way Mr. Murray skewed things in the press afterwards was just plain wrong.

“People like to talk hockey here and they live hockey. They don’t talk (hockey) in Raleigh very much. He’ll probably thrive in that environment and I like guys who thrive under pressure.”
(This isn't the first time the Senators have played that somewhat-odd card. Ottawa coach John Paddock has repeatedly mentioned that Martin Gerber flourished in Carolina because "they only have one beat writer.")

With his team coming off last year's appearance in the Stanley Cup Finals, the Sens steamrolled to start the year going 15-2 with a team record opening win streak. As they began to slowly decline with inconsistent goal tending and on-again/off-again performances from their heavy hitters, Murray had to fire his coach John Paddock and "assume the position" back behind the bench. It did little to no good, as his supposedly brilliant (at the time) acquisitions of Mike Commodore and Cory Stillman only continued their downward spiral in Ottawa.

Though they at least made the playoffs, most people saw what was coming to them. They were stomped by a talented Pittsburgh squad this week in a 4-0 sweep. It could have been a lot worse from game to game if Martin Gerber hadn't of been standing on his head most nights. I did feel sorry for old friend Gerbs this week as he got little to no support from his teammates. I'm also extending the shoulder to cry on to our Sens friends Senators Lost Cojones & Sherry up at Scarlett Ice. I'll miss seeing their game recaps of doom this season.

At any rate I don't foresee Murray getting canned this summer by Ottawa ownership, but if the Sens come out flat next season, expect him to be on a very short leash.

Here'a a little something extra to cheer Murray up.

Joe Corvo's Carolina-fication

Heeding the advice of CasonBlog, Joe Corvo has quicky relinquished the "gay viking raider" look in favor of a more conservative, less flashy do.

He's been nothing short of spectacular here in his dozen or so games with the Canes. Granted, the entire team has been firing on all cylinders but Joe has certainly lived up to the potential. It has been well documented that Stiller & Commie are not fulfilling their end of the trade with a floundering Ottawa club. There have been very few signs of the Joe "Uh-Oh" Corvo that our Sens friends warned us about. He's been defensively sound and responsible playing the point on a potent power play unit.

All reports on Joe say that he is shy and soft-spoken. He's been letting his play speak for him. That's good, as we wouldn't want him cracking under the pressure of a bush league coach or media, would we?

Thick skin or not, your opportunity is there as a Carolina Hurricane

As Cane newbie Joe Corvo came in this week from the Senators, much was made about his departure and the defenseman not being able to "take the pressure" in a Canadian NHL market.

Senators GM Bryan Murray:

“I don’t know whether it was the pressure or never having a life away from the building, but he felt that Joe would enjoy going to an American team,” Murray told the Ottawa Sun. “He wanted to play where there was less scrutiny. He just couldn’t handle the pressure here."

So be it. An unwanted player left a team for a patch of greener grass in Raleigh, not to mention from the sub-zero tundra to the 60 degree February days of NC. Who knows how Joe "Uh Oh" Corvo may end up playing with the Canes. Although he may not be the savior to Carolina's defensive woes, chances are he will flourish in Coach Lavi's system.

The soul searching and confidence boost that comes with joining a new team may be all an athlete needs to jump start his game.

Exhibit A. Look at Mark Recchi (sans his manboobs), who left his long time home in Pittsburgh this year to the (at the time) lowly Atlanta Thrashers. Be it spite or having the drive - guys like him can benefit from being out of the limelight in major hockey towns.

Exhibit B. - Mr. Sergei Samsonov. People can remember when he was "the next big thing" as a Boston Bruin. A former rookie of the year, he struggled mightily in Montreal, had a stint in Edmonton and signed a lucrative deal with Chicago. He had constantly been turning the puck over this season with the Hawks and had a whopping 4 points until he was claimed off waivers by Jimmy Boy and the Canes. Now? He's been consistently one of Carolina's best players using his nifty puck handling skills to chip in offensively at almost a point a night average.

So I say let them talk all the trash they want to about Big Joe Corvo and whether or not he could "handle" things up there. While they chase their players away, just remember there will always be a place down South for them to flourish, thick skinned or not.

Dear Bryan Murray, we talk hockey

Quote from Ottawa GM Bryan Murray in regards to the Joe Corvo trade:

“I don’t know whether it was the pressure or never having a life away from the
building, but he felt that Joe would enjoy going to an American team,” Murray
told the Ottawa Sun. “He wanted to play where there was less scrutiny. He just
couldn’t handle the pressure here.
“People like to talk hockey here and they live hockey. They don’t talk (hockey) in Raleigh very much. He’ll probably thrive in that environment and I like guys who thrive under pressure.”
(This isn't the first time the Senators have played that somewhat-odd card. Ottawa coach John Paddock has repeatedly mentioned that Martin Gerber flourished in Carolina because "they only have one beat writer.") (Lord Stanley's Blog, N&O)

I beg to differ, sir. Our cab drivers may not be able to tell you why our powerplay is slacking but we do talk hockey here. For example, on Monday (the day of trade), I headed to Borders to pick up some new tunes. While I was paying for my things, the woman running the register just happened to see my Canes pocket schedule in my wallet and she piped up, "Oh!! Did you hear who they traded today?!?" As I explained to her what went down, she expressed her sorrow for seeing "Stiller" gone but knew that Jimmy Boy had usually been the man to trust in these situations. As I walked out, the three people in line behind all asked the lady what had happened with the Hurricanes today.

Also, there's about 900 unique visitors in the past 30 days in NC/SC alone who came to this lil' 'ol blog to "talk hockey". Sure, plenty of locals are obsessed with ACC and college sports but they're not all freaks ready to pounce at the first sign of an athelete's vulnerability.

Yes, we do have one official "beat writer" in Luke DeCock. (Guess everyone is ignoring Rachel Carter, who has been chiming in nicely over the N&O.) However, do not discount the Durham, Fayetteville, etc.. writers that contribute to the Canes coverage. Not to mention the guys at 850 the Buzz, 99.9 The Fan, and the local news channels. These folks do their jobs and they do it well. They're not out to hound NHL players in their personal lives. Our GM doesn't take pot-shots at departing players, no matter the situation. As Cason stated today, it's just flat out bigotry the way the Canadian media (and GM Murray) have handled this whole trade.

Whatever sells their story, I guess.

A look back at Commie & Stillman

These two guys are fortunate to be traded to a cup contender in Ottawa. While I hate to see them go, say we miss out on making the playoffs this year -- we'd lose those guys to free agency. Might as well get something for them while you can, right?

Cory Stillman was a near unheard-of (around here anyways) when he joined the bench in Raleigh the 05-06 season. He quickly made a name for himself with his slick passing skills and clutch goals. This blogger's favorite memories of him:

1. Earlier this season when he scored a goal against Tomas Vokoun and the Panthers from beyond the blue line.
2. Scoring the series-clinching goal against Huet and Montreal in the 1st round of the playoffs during the Cup year.
3. Netting a natural hattie earlier this season against a hapless (at the time) Washington Capitals team.

As for Commie? My only complaints about him were the amount of time he spent in the penalty box. I thought he usually played sound defensively and he was 100% necessary during our cup run year. Favorite memory of Mike:
Watching him chug Bud Lights and sign autographs during the SC Parade:
Good luck gentleman. Perhaps you'll be back.

A/V Delight: Having A Lookie See At Corvo & Eaves

Here's big Joe Corvo:(Canada.com)

Did we just sign a hockey player or the lead singer of Buckcherry?
Here's Mr. Patrick Eaves:

(BC Eagles)

Now is it just me or does the look on his face say: "I WANNA GO TO HAWAII YEA!" ? No? Perhaps there's something going on outside the view of this frame, maybe an Eagles cheerleader is tickling his undersides, Dunno.

Here's Corvo breaking the hearts of Buffalo last year in the playoffs (well, then, Welcome to Raleigh!)

And here's Pat Eaves showing off what he can bring

Bring it on gentleman! Tattoos, goofy-faces and all!

Hurricanes and Senators exchange a forward and a defenseman

Shocking news out of the Canes camp today, as Jimmy Boy has shipped out Cory Stillman and Mike Commodore to the Ottawa Senators in exchange for D-man Joe Corvo & forward Patrick Eaves. Funny how things work out sometimes. I was just reading Forslund's blog today about how JR likes to pull the trigger well before the trade deadline. This is most definitely the biggest pre-deadline deal that the NHL has seen, and with this happening we can expect many more dominoes to fall.

That "popular player" that he said would have to be traded earlier? Yep, it's Commie and Stillers. Both guys were at the end of their contracts this year with Carolina. Commodore would have been getting quite a raise after his time here and Stillman has been rumored as trade-bait for months now and has been on a cold streak as of late.

I'll have more on this later, but for now I'm pretty pleased with this trade. Jimmy Boy finally gets himself a "puck-moving defenseman". Hallelujah.

What To Do With An Extra Half Hour Before The Game

Canes square off at home against the Sens with a rare 1/2 hour to kill - 7:30 start. We here at COI thoroughly enjoy a weeknight tailgate just as much as anybody does, but what are we to do with the extra time? Here's a few ideas.

1. Drink a few more $1.50 beverages as opposed to $7.50.
2. Grill your own burgers as opposed to buying the delicious $6 Hardee's Thickburger.
3. Spend a few extra minutes doing your hair before leaving the house.
4. Make sure your seat is nice and warm.
5. Go to K-Mart and buy a $30 jersey instead of the $200 one at The Eye.
6. See suggestion #1.

The Bag Skate For Monday, December 10th

Sweatin' To The Oldies: On Sunday, Hurricanes played Detroit (the two oldest teams by average age) a 1/2 hour after their previous MTL beatdown, end up losing a game, 5-2, that was more competitive than expected. They will sleep like babies today. (Canes Country)

Erik Cole is back on the scoresheets and he's baaaaaad. (Lord Stanley's Blog)

Must-read: Sherry of Scarlett Ice translates the recently struggling Senators play through the sock-puppet medium. (Scarlett Ice)

East Coast Eagles are now the junior affiliate of the NCSU Wolfpack Hockey team. (ACCHL)

Appalachian State ends a frustrating 2007 with a big win over NC State. (App State Mountaineers)

Charlotte Checkers have an in-house blogger now on their official site, and she ain't half-bad! (Charlotte Checkers)

The SPHL Champion Fayetteville Fireantz (with an intimidating website intro), are .500 at home but undefeated in regulation on the road. (Fayetteville Fireantz)

East Carolina Pirates have their media guide available for download. (ECU Ice Hockey)

The Acid Queen sounds off on her love of Detroit Red Wings fans. (Sweet Tea, Barbecue & Bodychecks)

Stephen A. Smith mouths off on blogs, makes us all stupider for having listened to him. (ThePensBlog)

NHL.com's been following the undrafted rookie Hurricanes prospect, Jerome Samson, up in Albany. (NHL.com)

X-Hurricane Bates Battaglia waved by the Toronto Maple Leafs. Good luck, Bates. See you downtown. (CasonBlog)

Canes Continue To F-Up Eastern Canada

East of Here's take on the Ott-pwnt-a Sens game last night:

Chuck Norris done gone medieval on somebody's ass...

That was a good 2nd period and a good first 17 minutes of a third period. Not too shabby. And is it me or does Cullen look like an All-Star right now? Damn, he is everywhere doing everything. I also noticed a lot of "fancy" passing and puck movement. It didn't always work, but I swear it looks like the guys have that old confidence back when I see them doing that. It's almost like they expect to be that good, if you know what I mean. Last year, they looked timid and hesitant at times. This year, they are looking confident. If they can maintain that effort and confidence, they are going to be hard to beat most nights.

Wufpirate's Take:

We will make your fans boo and be quiet on the road (unless we're playing the Craps and we're tired). 12 goals in 2 games will be hard to contain no matter who they play. Boo-yah!

850 the Buzz's Take

Upcoming Games

Canes & Sens -- can the Canes slow the Sens undefeated role?

Weekend of October 12th & 13th

Duke vs. UNC @ Triangle Sportsplex 10:15 -- Where's Dicky V when you need him?

NCSU @ Gulf Coast FLA - Quite a roadtrip for self-sufficient student athletes!

UNC-W @ ECU - Budding rivalry - can the Seahawks rally as underdogs? (double header, Fri & Sat)

Cam Ward Earns His Contract

So far this season anyways, WardO is proving that he is worth his multi-year, multi-million $$$ contract.

Will we see a rematch of Gerber Vs. Cam Thursday night in OTT-AH-Wa? Marty is proving that he will be of great trade value or just a #1 goalie wherever he may end up this year.

Ottawa Senators Inspiration To Win

Tip of the hat to Scarlett Ice for this wonderful post about Elgin-Alexander Fraser, a 3 year old boy who recently lost his long battle with cancer. In "SI"'s post, He Saw Them Win, she explains how this little hero wanted nothing more than to watch his Senators play.

If this doesn't break your heart, then you haven't one.

Thought We Might See Gerber In Action

So I'm at the rooftop Rudino's in N. Raleigh watching Sabres/Senators Game 2. I thought at around the 10:45 mark in the 1st period, that we might see the emergence of Marty Gerber (after two quick BuffaSlugs goals that were not Emery's fault). Talk about a salary goalie who is itching to get in and prove he's worth his signing bonus. Even though he faltered (supposed flu, lost 12 lbs. in 3 days or something) in the playoffs (leading to Cam Ward being kickass in the Pros) last year with the Hurricanes:



Martin Gerber Is A Badass

For he had a large share:

In being the reason the Canes hardly ever lost last season.

Was a highlight reel of saves most nights.

Unleashed an unforgettable performance in the '06 Olympics backstopping the underdog Suisse to an upset over Team Canada.



Video: European Feed of Swiss vs. Canada '06 Olympics as Gerber made save after save. Regardless of what your opinion was on this beauty (robbing Rick Nash), this was officially a save.


I thought of John Grahame a little tonight. When he's good, he's an amazing goaltender and he's ON. When he's bad, he can be terrible. But Karman-O pays Grahame Crackers the right price for what he does. Our future is invested behind the net with Mr. Conn Smythe. It had better be, that is, after his new contract with us this summer.

p.s.

If you type in Carolina On Ice on the Google search bar now, I'm 4th on the link list. I used-ta-could-be not even listed! Yeah, the 1st is a cool company called Carolina Ice company. Check them out too if you feel the urge. I'm almost positive that you can purchase Ice Luge Blocks from Carolina Ice for (clears throat) Tailgate parties.

p.p.s.

Anybody heard from CasonBlog? I think he's enjoying the offseason this year as much as the New Fathers / Lucky B's Around The Corner Bar Regulars / Golfers, excuse me. Hurricanes players are.